Elena is 17 years old and she suffers from philophobia.
I don’t want to be a woman! I don’t want to become an adult! I don’t want to grow up.
Growing up means suffering, growing up means also being responsible. Growing up is suffering by loving. Growing up is abandoning yourself and leaving your feminine side aside and foster other elements and values before oneself.
Growing up is like my mother and I do not want to!
Why and how can all these thoughts approach the world of a 17-year-old girl ? This generates a hard and real amount of internal conflict bringing her a lot of unpleasant emotions, preventing her from having a personal evolution but also from growing serenely in this stage of adolescence. ”
For Elena, to be a woman is to forget and to neglect herself. It is feeding the dark and monstrous side that grows with time. She sees only the negative side of her mother who is a divorced woman which must support her own needs to become an independent woman.
Elena thinks she will never be able to go through a life as difficult as her mother’s, and she is always asking herself the same question.
How, as a mother, is it possible to have so many problems ?
How many feelings buried ! This 17-year-old girl questions with anger and admiration against her mother for having let herself go, for having suffered so much. Nevertheless, she admires her to be always present and continue forward, despite the daily problems, this mother tries to do everything possible getting started with her business life, pay her bills and to settle down.
But the anger is omnipresent and overwhelms her, continuing to observe her mother she sees a woman who does not take care of her by losing her femininity, giving up all hope of being happy again as a couple and having no plan for the weekends.
Why would I like to look like my mother ? Does she wonder ?
The mother says, ” Be strong Elena! You must study to become a competent person to live in a world built with mans in mind, and where everything is adapted to their measurements.
All this suffering has created a trauma in Elena.
Without knowing how to channel all her suffering, she decides to rebel and stop eating.
In his natural development and without being fed her body looks more and more like one of a man, removing all notions of femininity.
Elena’s mother, immersed in her own desperation with her personal conflicts and battling her own depression, will have to explain to her daughter that a woman can be happy if she knows how to change certain stereotyped models so as to have her own evolution, to be happy and to have confidence in oneself.
“Being a feminist is not about comparing men and women, it’s about understanding without prejudice that each of us has a role to play, a function and a complementarity towards the other. “
Do we still live in a macho world? What will you advise Elena or her mother ?
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Specialized in the management of stress and emotions
Creator of idstress app
Founder, Centro Enlace – Natural therapies, body, and mind.