Drowned, overwhelmed, wanting to regain energy again?
Discover the benefits of letting go.
When people come to to an appointment, and they’re stressed, exhausted or juggling thousands of obligations that impose a super-demand with themselves, when talking about letting them flow many of them answer me “No, because that would be too easy”. They associate it with being vague and too calm. Letting go has bad press and is a shame because there are many benefits associated with doing it.
The mirage of control
The search for permanent control is a very powerful illusion, it positions us in a relationship of strength with our actions: I have to, we must … either in the perspectives towards others or towards oneself. The final goals become inaccessible since it is impossible for us to control the world. Then when events or people resist our will, we accumulate frustrations that generate exhaustion. This situation leads to failure.
Let’s rehabilitates the “let it flow”
Let’s pause for a moment about the meaning of letting it flow. It’s about our position in life, about the facts. It’s about abandonment, of course, but in a positive way. To let it flow, to calm your mind like when you lie in bed, is to give yourself the opportunity to observe a problem from afar and be able to evaluate with serenity and lucidity the real impact on you.
Hermann Hesse, author of Siddharta, Has this beautiful quote: “many of us think that holding to something makes us stronger; But sometimes it’s letting it flow.”
For a better understanding of letting it flow, imagine at the helm of a ship. When the wind blows, it is not a matter of letting go of the rudder, but rather of analyzing where the wind comes from, and how to ally with it because the wind will be stronger than you. On the bridge of this ship, we can project ourselves and observe our difficulties in a neutral way, without prejudice, and without limits. Could it be that lifting a sail is enough to catch speed? Could it be that a rope change would be necessary to avoid breaking the mast? It is up to you to find your answers with serenity.
Do not miss the real target
Letting go involves learning to relativize, to have perspective on things (events or situations) and not to give them disproportionate importance. I remember a mother who told me that after an overwhelming day of work, a race against the clock to pick up her son at school, shop and prepare dinner, she had gone into anger because her son had not obeyed her order to go to shower. However, this dispute did not help her feel more relieved, on the contrary. My task was to help her realize that she had unloaded on her son all the tension she had accumulated during her day, without analyzing that the real problem was her too loaded schedule and not the lack of attention of her young child.
Learn how to take your time
Another key to getting out of the control spiral is to learn how to handle your reactions to certain situations. A problem arises and I don’t know how to face it? I take notes, study, and admit that at the moment I don’t have the resources to solve it and I decide to keep it in the drawer titled “Waiting” of my mind. I already hear some of you say: “Oh, what a procrastinator.” Well no, because it is not about denying or not addressing the problem, but rather taking distance to find the most effective solution. We believe that we must always respond to everything immediately, and time is indeed a beautiful gift to be learned.
Unleash the reins of your ego
When we let go we also involved our ego, since in a certain way give up controlling everything, is to accept (with the smile) that we are not all powerful.
This awareness does not mean forgetting your ego, because that would be nullifying and denying your desires. It’s more about learning to know yourself better in order to respect your desires respecting those of others. To let it go is to listen to others, to let your empathy bloom, to be able to give your opinion without anger and without feeling that you are threatened by the opinion of others.
The key to serenity? Knowing how to listen to oneself. By learning to listen to yourself you learn to have confidence without fear.
I invite you to meditate on this quote from the emperor and philosopher Marco-Aurelio, who brilliantly sums up the equation of letting flow: “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can change and the wisdom to know the difference.”
Specialized in the management of stress and emotions
Creator of idstress app
Founder, Centro Enlace – Natural therapies, body and mind.